truth, lies, and videotape

I go back to court on the 5th of April, and I cannot wait. I want more time with my son. Right now I get him 3 days a week, 4 hours a day. I cannot bring him back to my friends house because my ex “doesn’t find it suitable”. I have no idea why, its clean and there is a place for him to sleep, and food to eat, and toys to play with, but thats not good enough. To say that i’m frustrated is a gross understatement. My ex even went so far and said I brought him home last Wednesday with dried poop on him. My son has been potty trained since he was 2, and he ALWAYS tells you when he has to go potty. They showed me his underwear, and it looked to me like he wasnt wiped properly, or he had a wet fart…tmi i know. But, in no way did it look like he pooped his pants and it dried up. my ex then called mke white trash, and lots of other names and said I should just step out of my sons life. 

It hurts, worse than most people know. Not only because hes undermining my ability as a mother, but also because this is someone I used to love with all my heart. We always said short of pysical or emotional abuse etc…, that we would never trash the others parenting ability. I guess promises are easily broken in his world.

Jadles, If you ever see this, I just want you to know…you mean the world to me. You are my bubba, my turtle, my life. I will fight til my last breath to have you in my life on a more permanent basis, and NOTHING will ever take me away from you.  


Add a comment March 24, 2012

its been a long time coming


I haven’t wrote a post on here in such a long time. So much has changed, I don’t even know where to start. I found out in April of 2010, that my now ex husband was cheating on me. We tried for a few months to work things out, but he didn’t want to. We were officially divorced in May of 2011. I found out he had his mistress for a year while we were married, that he had her in our house around our son, and sooo much more.

Jadles is now 3 and so smart. he knows his alphabet, counting up to 20, his colors, most of his shapes and is pretty good at drawing faces. Unfortunately right now, I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him. His father has the majority of the custody, because I don’t have a steady place to live. Well that’s not entirely true. Im living with a friend right now, but thats not good enough according to my ex. 

i was living with my sister and her husband, and they weren’t paying their rent, so we got kicked out. my ex then took me to court a few days later and had a modification to our custody plan done. I signed Jadles over, because I wasn’t sure if we were gonna be staying in a motel, and I didn’t think that was fair to him. I thought I was doing the right thing for my son. 2 days after I signed the agreement, one of my friends I’ve known for almost 20 years, asked if I wanted to stay with them, in exchange for babysitting her 2 kids. I’m in the process of trying to find a house (to buy), and find work. My ex and I are now in a very nasty custody battle, and right now, all I’m trying to get is a few nights a week with my son. I decided to bring this blog back, so that someday, my son can read the truth. 

He deserves to know, that mommy didn’t abandon him, that I never stopped loving him, and that I thought I was doing what was in the best interest of him.

this picture means so much to me. It was a few days before his 3rd birthday, and we had a small party for him at a friends house. he had so much fun, and so did I. he went to visit his dad the day after this, and I haven’t had him overnight since. 

















Add a comment March 22, 2012


So Lots of things have been happening lately. My sister is going to be married soon, and I have decided not to go to her wedding. I know that sounds terrible, but I truly believe she is making a horrible mistake. I cant sit back and watch her settle for someone who seems not to have her best interests at heart. Plus he made a pass at me, a very inappropriate pass, and she saw nothing wrong with that. Hes a liar and a story teller, always wanting to be better than everyone. I hope for her sake he proves us all wrong, I really do.

Jadles has so many new words. fish, please, watch,goo-goo (thank you), dog, juice, oh no, ok, stop, and a few more i cant remember…lol he is getting so big, almost 18 months! I can’t believe he is mine. I am so thankful for him everyday.

Add a comment July 22, 2010

chinese food, brothers and sleepovers with “mom”

I know, I know…I’m 28 years old and im sleeping over at my “mom”s house. But we are having lots of fun. Ordered Chinese food and going to watch “Brothers”! Its good to spend time with your mom sometimes, even when you are an adult and have a family of your own. Tomorrow we get to go see Sex and the City2, and I am super excited!! Otherwise not much going on over here.

Although, Jadles has taken to whistling really well lately…its kind of scary.  I have never seen or heard a kid that young whistle so well. And he dances while he does it too. its so darn cute! He is getting smarter everyday and it amazes me to watch him grow.

Add a comment May 31, 2010


Jadles is spending this weekend with his Grandmothers. They both live across the street from each other, so it works out quite nicely. They have pretty much taken him every weekend since a few weeks after he was born. 15 months ago. I know we are very lucky to get this break every week, extremely lucky. But sometimes it feels like some people resent the fact that we get a couple days free every week. 9 times out of 10 they call me up and ask to keep him. What am I supposed to do? Deny them that privilege. They are two wonderful grandmas. My Mother-in-law (maw-maw-)  has a whole play area in her finished basement for him and my Step-FIL (pop)  is hand carving him a slingshot right now (he wont be playing with it until hes much older…lol). My “mom*” (granny)  buys him the coolest presents and gives the best hugs.  They each bring something unique to the table and I really believe he looks foward to the time he spends with them. So yes I realize that we are sort of spoiled in that aspect, but really….we are just awesome!

* not my biological mom, not technically my adopted mom….a long post for another day

Add a comment May 14, 2010

Mothers Day

Yesterday was Mothers Day, and a pretty uneventful day for me. I didnt recieve a card or a present or breakfast in bed. These are the sacrifices one must make when neither parent has any income coming in. Yes, I will admit, I was a little upset that the day wasn’t what I hoped it would be. But what other choice did we have? I know my son loves me, and I know my husband thinks i’m a wonderful wife and mother, everything else is just stuff….. I know my husband will make this up to me, he is one of the most thoughtful people when it comes to gifts and surprises.

So if anybody reads this…what did you do for Mothers Day?

Add a comment May 10, 2010

shake wei…..wait a minute

So im sitting in bed watching a infomercial for the shake weight. You know the weight that you hold in two hands and shake up and down? Ummmm its a little disturbing to me, for obvious reasons. Especially since theres one for men now…cant they achieve the same results another way?…..Ohhh no dirty minds, I meant shaking a can of corn or something, get ur mind out of the gutter.

In other news, Jadles is becoming worse and worse with the sleep. He takes one nap a day if we are lucky and doesnt want to go to sleep until 9:30 or 10 at night. I have tried to explain to him that babies his age have bedtimes and that would be 7 maybe 8. Hes having none of it. Im sure he will be awake right at 7:20 tomorrow morning as well.  Also, he has started to throw all of his food on the floor when he eats. The only things I can be sure are gonna end up in his mouth are, bananas, cereal bars, fruit snacks, peanut butter and jelly and any type of bread. I know that he wont starve, but its a little frustrating to say the least.      oh and here is a picture of him for anybody who wants to see….of course this is probably just for me, cause nobody visits this site anyway….lol

Add a comment May 8, 2010
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Sitting here this morning, I’m wondering, what do I write about? Do I share everything with the inter webs? Do I keep my identity private? I don’t want to share to much, but when I look back on this, I want to remember what it is I was talking about. I want to share the joy of raising my son, and the hard work of my marriage, but when is it too much? I read countless blogs, that in some way or another have changed me, for the better. I see the struggles these women have and don’t feel so alone in the things I have been through. I don’t neccesarily want the accolades they have, but just some reassurance that this is all worth it. I guess for now I will call myself S and my son will be Jadles. Not sure what I should call my husband…..a few things come to mind (hehe)….but who knows? No body will probably read this anyway

Add a comment April 28, 2010

obligatory first post

So I’m new to this, and probably not going to be very good at it, but figured i’d jump on the bandwagon. I am mainly doing this so I have something to look back on when I’m old and senile and cant remember anything. a sort of diary for myself and my son. More about him later, and boy is he cute!

Add a comment April 26, 2010
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